Let this hell out from my mind!!

I am stressed. I am not on period or what so ever,but i'm in massive2 stress..!!!. I am going crazy! I am crying and getting frustrated a lot and out of no where. This isn't uncommon for me but it is still annoying none-the-less.Lot's of thing in mind and i need to sort each from the thing that keep coming inside my head.


Because of stress today,i'm going for run just to release and stay calm..I do not know what the hell is wrong with me,i though i am strong enough to handle with this,the thing is, one by one problem coming without doubt and keep me thinking of the thing that i should sorting out.

I've nothing to say right now,my mind just block from everything..i hate when i had this kind of feeling..Adios amigos peeps..see u when i see u..xx

It's all good

Hello peeps & Salam to all Muslim..

Cewahh sejak2 si Stephan dah jadi Johan Raphael ni,kena bagi salam la sbb kena tunjuk tauladan yang baik dekat dia..I am really happy for him,today is a big day for him and guess what,lot's of feeling enter in when he start read Syahadah just now,joy and happy and etc..

Saya sbnrnya xtau nak story apa kat cni sbb saya happy sgt and tekejut bila dia btau pada imam tadi,apa yang dia btau imam tadi buatkan saya terpinga2 and at the same time saya happy sangat sbb walaupun the way dia propose saya,dan saya agak bukan cara tu yang dia nak propose saya sbb masa dalam perjalanan blk kerumah,dia asyik ulang bgtau saya,dia taktau apa yg buatkan dia tergerak hati bgtau pada imam tu kami akan menikah sekurang2nya dalam mada tedekat nie..yes i'm happy of course because i know we meant to be together.

Apapun keputusan yang dia akan buat saya akan terima dgn hati terbuka as long as he and me will be together.saya cintakan dia..

It's All Good

Wipe your tears, come what may, 

You will be the one to say,

I'll be alright, I'll be okay,

Keeping my all worries at bay,

Finding the white within the grey.

We're not here to stay anyway,

It's a journey. Remember that everyday,

And that we'll arrive safely home one day,

And we work, we hope, and we pray,

That we'll be among those who obey.

You'll be alright, you'll be okay,

Allah is with you, you won't go astray.

Being apart its totally killing me

Baby..
Again from the day we met, I knew that you would hold my heart in your hands and you more than do that - you completely own me and every part of me. When I think of you, my heart is so full of love and passion for you that I can hardly contain myself. I think of spending every minute of every day with you and holding you so close to me. Whenever you think of me, please know that no matter how many miles separate us or how much of our lives comes between us, you are and always will be the love of my life and I will never love anyone as much again. I thank God everyday for letting me meet you and for you falling in love with me because I know that it would never be as perfect any other way. I love you with all that I am. 

The miracle of life shone in front of my eyes when you entered my life. Nothing can be compared to this feeling of filling up somebody's life.  When we first met , I didn't even suspect what a wizard you were about to be. But apparently life can show us such wonders, that we can stay amazed like children, wondering how this could happen to us! Well, I want to thank you for being my best friend, for being my angel, for being my soul, for being my life.. I have never felt like this before. Nobody has taken me so far, except you baby..You brighten my days and give me the strength to carry on, fighting everyday for you. You revealed the deepest emotions and feelings I've kept inside of me for so long. Feelings I didn't even suspect to be. But most of all, you showed me the real taste of love. You are my best friend and the one I want for life, my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow. You are the one I love and I want everybody to know it! I love you more than anything.I haven't had a stronger feeling than this one I have now, that I want face the eternity with you by my side..Remember, our love is the link that holds our two hearts together and if I could put into words how you make me feel when I think of you..i do love you baby..with all of my heart..

 I love to live, to spend a lifetime with you as your wife and to grow old with you,We've been apart for almost 3 days now. Each day that passes me by only makes my love for you grow stronger. Though we may struggle through our separation, please remember my love for you knows no boundaries. It will continue to stretch across any ocean and over every grain of sand between us to get to you even though actually i don't have to do that because you just 3 hours drive apart with me..;-)

I may be your Girlfriend or fiance, or wife but you are my life. No war or distance can ever keep me from my destiny. I miss you so much and I'll be here with open arms when you come home, where you belong.

Right now, you're living so far away from me that it is killing me, but I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing. And, you are trying to get things straight so we can live there forever and spend a lifetime together. I don't want to lose you for anyone else or anything that anyone has to say about you. I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. My love for you is unconditional. The love for you is so strong and the most powerful feeling that I have had in a long time, and I am just at a lost for words when it comes to you. I just wish that their was another way that we could be together without living so far apart right at the time being. I want you to know that I love you and always will, and there is nothing that will ever change how I feel about you. I love you.

Baby, you have changed my life completely. You're the one who makes me beautiful. You're the one who makes me strong. You're the one who makes me so important  you're everything to me.

You show your love to me every day and even every minute when we are chatting. How lucky I am to find a man like you.I promise I will compensate you one day with the thing that you want the most ... you know what it is?

All that I can offer you is a family. A family that belongs to us.. a family where we can share our ups and down and stay together till the day we die. Baby, that's all I can give ... I hope you like it.However, knowing that you love me so much is enough and if I can be your wife and your children's mum then this would make me proud for the next 50 or 60 years. Remember, you need to take care of me for 50 or 60 years and so you've got to take good care of yourself to do it. Ti Amo tesoro mio, you're the only one that I want. 

I have to admit i can't live without you baby..

I Miss You Like Crazy

miss hugging you before i sleep

miss smelling your smell

miss your strong arms around me

miss your kiss good night

miss kissing you goodnight

miss playing with your fingers

miss you soothing me with your fingers tracing my toes

miss waking up with you beside me

miss your cheerful morning voice greeting me

miss you pampering me

miss you calling me cute

miss your beautiful eyes, looking deep into my soul

miss your sexy lips smiling cheekily at me

miss you caressing my body with such tenderness

miss your craziness outlook of life

miss hearing you say ' i love you'


to sum it up...

i miss you,

my love

my best friend

my soul mate..I do love you baby..( Stephan Raphael )

Ada cerita yang x mampu saya luahkan..

Ada cerita yang x mampu saya ceritakan,x mampu untuk saya luahkan,dan tidak ada siapa yg mampu untuk saya berkongsi..ye saya bahagia,tapi saya mahukan lebih dari ini..saya mahukan keluarga saya,DIA,dan segalanya,semuanya menerima dengan hati yg terbuka..saya sedih,sangat2 sedih..!!!!saya x mampu untuk berkongsi dengan sesiapa.saya cintakan 'DIA',dan saya tahu x sumer keluarga saya dapat menerima 'DIA' kerana 'DIA' bukan jodoh pilihan org tua saya,tapi saya berhak untuk menentukan kehidupan saya.Resah gelisah hati saya hari ni bila mak menghubungi saya,dan saya dapat rasakan ada sesuatu yg mak mahu beritahu saya..jauh disudut hati saya utk tidak mendengar nasihat mak,tapi apa perlu saya buat..???DIA CINTA HATI SAYA..!!!DIA HIDUP SAYA..!!YA ALLAH BANTULAH SAYA..!!!saya bingung..!!


Ada cerita yg x mampu untuk saya luahkan bila saya terpaksa pendamkan sorang diri,apakah saya anak derhaka..??apakan saya biadap pada mereka..??saya harap cinta dan bahagia yang saya cari adalah benar..!!DAN DIA ADALAH BENAR..!!


DIA..
Saya cuba sembunyikan riak wajah saya,tapi saya x mampu..saya sedar 'DIA' tahu saya sembunyikan sesuatu..saya x bermaksud menyembunyikan apa2 dari 'DIA',tp cinta saya pada dia buatkan saya simpan segalanya untuk diri saya kerana saya x mampu menahan air mata saya apabila saya tahu 'DIA' pasti akan kecewa bila dia sedar keluarga saya mahu dia menjadi seorang suami islam pada saya dan bantu saya didunia dan diakhirat..Jauh disudut hati saya,saya berdoa untuk 'DIA'semoga satu hari nanti 'DIA' terbuka hati untuk agama saya..ye 'DIA' mmg akan memeluk islam,tp saya tahu 'DIA' memeluk agama saya kerana 'DIA' cintakan saya,bukan kerana agama saya tapi saya akan tetap berdoa satu hari nnt hati 'DIA' akan terbuka hati untuk cintakan agama saya..kerana saya cintakan 'DIA'..saya mahu satu hari nanti 'DIA' yang akan saya jumpa di akhirat kelak kerana saya terlalu cintakan 'DIA'..


Ada cerita yang x mampu saya luahkan bila mulut saya terkunci untuk berkata2,satu persatu musibah berlaku dalam kehidupan saya.Saya x pernah menyesal membuat keputusan untuk menetap disini jauh dari keluarga saya,kerana kadang2 saya sedar mereka x perlukan saya..Mereka hanya perlukan saya bila keadaan sukar dan perlukan bantuan saya,dan disitulah saya akan ada..Atau mungkin saya over sensitif..???saya x tahu,dan kadang2 saya benci untuk ambil tahu..!!!


Saya sedih dan saya sakit..!!!