Since you found my blog,this is for u Baby..xxx

Since you found my blog,this is for u Baby..i want you to know you always in my mind,and i love you with all my heart..

Since you came into my life I have often wondered if you were sent to me from God. Do you remember the first time we met? I do...The way both of us expressed ourself caught us off guard. I could not do anything.. Most men are rude when they approach a woman. But not you, you were quite the gentleman.

I knew you would break my shell after our first date. Before you came along, I had been hiding in the shadows of live for too long. You prove my first impression right each day we are together. You were right when you said there are good people in the world. You are a great person - an influential individual and compassionate friend and lover..i do love you baby..

baby do you still remember that you have told me this would be my reality. You said you were going to be my sounding board and the person I can turn to and confide in. As the minutes, hours, days and now months continue  I feel closer to you. It has been years since I have felt this way towards someone. I want to tell my secrets to you because I know you will keep them safe just as you have kept me safe from this crazy world.

You make me laugh when I can not find anything to smile about. You make sure we share every minute together laughing and talking about our plans in life. Most men run if a woman starts talking about the future. Not you. You make sure we discuss our goals for our relationship as well as our independent plans for ourselves. Thank you for being you. You have exposed me the finer things in life that were right before my eyes.

I promise to love and cherish all the days we have together.

I promise to hold you when you need to be held.

And at any chance i can get.

I promise to keep my nagging to a minimum,

So that i don't turn into your "strict wife".

I promise to never take for granted what i have...

That means you, of course!

I promise to occasionally watch and seem interested

while you play your  video games.

And since we dont have totally the same tastes in music,

I promise to not play my "nonsense" when you're around.

(Well maybe not promise, but i'll try)

I promise to keep each of our "roles" equal.

We both play and equal part in our lives.

Baby, you are my life, my heart, and my soul.

my life would be nothing without you.

you complete me in so many ways.

and i am so glad that we are together.

i absolutely cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

you are all that i have ever wanted in a man.

and so much more!

thank you for everything you have ever done for me

and will ever do for me..!!

I love you! forever and always..!!

My Silence Enemy 'Ovarian Cancer'

Two week after surgery,in my second surgery on 13 of July before my birthday I started the standard first-line therapy of Radiotherapy. Will anything cure ovarian cancer? I don't know and neither do the doctors. The doctors give it their best shot and work so hard and many times have a lot of success, or is it just luck? Faith in God and faith in my doctors will get me through. That and a lot of help from my friends.

I will continue to fight for my life. I owe it to myself and my family. I will survive. I will beat this. Cancer will never win!

When I was first told that I had cancer, I thought it was the worst thing in the world I could ever hear. I thought I would be dying soon, I would not get to grow old with someone that i love or accomplish all I had planned. There are some days that I still feel that way, but not as often. Slowly I was given hope that I could beat this thing and survive. My life would forever change, but I had a purpose and a reason to fight. The fact that ovarian cancer tends to reccur so often, is scary. I am living with that fear now as my tumor count rises. I have so much love and support that I know I will get through this. I'm not saying that I don't get down and I do indulge in an occasional pity party, and I do cry, okay sometimes I sob! What really wears me down is fear and worry. I am learning to manage the fear. I have such a great medical team helping me fight this and that helps the worry. The more I learn, the better I feel. Not because what I am learning is especially good news, but for me, I cope better knowing as much as possible. That wasn't always the case. When I was first diagnosed and had surgery, I didn't want to know much. I had to be told in small bits and pieces what was happening to me or I couldn't cope. After I regained some strength, I felt I had to know it all. But what I want to tell you is the good that has come from having cancer.

I had heard people say that they would not change having cancer because of all they have learned from it. At first I though, "you've got to be kidding! I would give this all up in a heart beat." I must admit on my low days I still feel that way. And then I think about how I have changed and I am glad I was given this opportunity to see the world in a different light. It may sound like a cliche, but I do see the beauty in each day, people are even more important than before and I am truely glad to wake up each day. I am a much nicer person now, of course that is with my daily dose of antidepressant! (That's my secret weapon.) I am more patient now, maybe from waiting in waiting rooms forver, nothing is as urgent as it was before. I am much kinder to myself now. I even treated myself to my first pedicure last week and didn't even feel guilty about it.

Thank u for those people who giving me support,it's really mean to me..i love u all guy's in no matter what happen till i my last breath..i will upload a few piccies of mine when i had the surgery last 2 week ago,hope to see u guy's soon..

I hope everything will be ok soon as i'm tired to get treatment no more..yes i should be grateful because me i still live in this beautiful world but sometimes i just down..forget it,i dont want think it no more..see u soon guy's..xxx