Two week after surgery,in my second surgery on 13 of July before my birthday I started the standard first-line therapy of Radiotherapy. Will anything cure ovarian cancer? I don't know and neither do the doctors. The doctors give it their best shot and work so hard and many times have a lot of success, or is it just luck? Faith in God and faith in my doctors will get me through. That and a lot of help from my friends.
I will continue to fight for my life. I owe it to myself and my family. I will survive. I will beat this. Cancer will never win!
When I was first told that I had cancer, I thought it was the worst thing in the world I could ever hear. I thought I would be dying soon, I would not get to grow old with someone that i love or accomplish all I had planned. There are some days that I still feel that way, but not as often. Slowly I was given hope that I could beat this thing and survive. My life would forever change, but I had a purpose and a reason to fight. The fact that ovarian cancer tends to reccur so often, is scary. I am living with that fear now as my tumor count rises. I have so much love and support that I know I will get through this. I'm not saying that I don't get down and I do indulge in an occasional pity party, and I do cry, okay sometimes I sob! What really wears me down is fear and worry. I am learning to manage the fear. I have such a great medical team helping me fight this and that helps the worry. The more I learn, the better I feel. Not because what I am learning is especially good news, but for me, I cope better knowing as much as possible. That wasn't always the case. When I was first diagnosed and had surgery, I didn't want to know much. I had to be told in small bits and pieces what was happening to me or I couldn't cope. After I regained some strength, I felt I had to know it all. But what I want to tell you is the good that has come from having cancer.
I had heard people say that they would not change having cancer because of all they have learned from it. At first I though, "you've got to be kidding! I would give this all up in a heart beat." I must admit on my low days I still feel that way. And then I think about how I have changed and I am glad I was given this opportunity to see the world in a different light. It may sound like a cliche, but I do see the beauty in each day, people are even more important than before and I am truely glad to wake up each day. I am a much nicer person now, of course that is with my daily dose of antidepressant! (That's my secret weapon.) I am more patient now, maybe from waiting in waiting rooms forver, nothing is as urgent as it was before. I am much kinder to myself now. I even treated myself to my first pedicure last week and didn't even feel guilty about it.
Thank u for those people who giving me support,it's really mean to me..i love u all guy's in no matter what happen till i my last breath..i will upload a few piccies of mine when i had the surgery last 2 week ago,hope to see u guy's soon..
I hope everything will be ok soon as i'm tired to get treatment no more..yes i should be grateful because me i still live in this beautiful world but sometimes i just down..forget it,i dont want think it no more..see u soon guy's..xxx
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