Hey everyone, just quick update to let you know, the reason I haven't been updating is because of i dont have wifi as i moved to new house,plus busy with work,work and school..damn pretty busy recently.. its all just building up since i moving new apartment,lots of thing need to sorted out..I'll hopefully have the time to post again, in the mean time you can read all my old post before i'm going to update soon.
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Friday, 25 March 2011
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Emptiness
I don't know how common this is, but for me, the main problem is that I feel
disconnected from everyone and everything.
I have a few people out there who I care about, or who care about me, but no real
intimacy with anyone. Worse yet, this is a long term pattern with me, it's been going on
for enough years yet that it's quite possible I will be alone for the rest of my life.
This totally sucks.
I would like to have friends I could be truly close to, someone that I could be in love
with, but I'm psychologically fucked up enough that I don't know how to make this
happen.
I like to think that if I had love and intimacy in my life, life wouldn't suck nearly as much.
And hell, I think I've reached the point where I'm jealous of cult members. Those poor
deluded fuckers who shave their heads and dance around in public begging for
donations, or the heaven's gate suicide cult, at least they have a sense of purpose, of
belonging. They must have a sense of devotion for their beloved cult leaders.
Is there any way to have meaning in your life when you're disconnected from everyone?
I don't think so.
disconnected from everyone and everything.
I have a few people out there who I care about, or who care about me, but no real
intimacy with anyone. Worse yet, this is a long term pattern with me, it's been going on
for enough years yet that it's quite possible I will be alone for the rest of my life.
This totally sucks.
I would like to have friends I could be truly close to, someone that I could be in love
with, but I'm psychologically fucked up enough that I don't know how to make this
happen.
I like to think that if I had love and intimacy in my life, life wouldn't suck nearly as much.
And hell, I think I've reached the point where I'm jealous of cult members. Those poor
deluded fuckers who shave their heads and dance around in public begging for
donations, or the heaven's gate suicide cult, at least they have a sense of purpose, of
belonging. They must have a sense of devotion for their beloved cult leaders.
Is there any way to have meaning in your life when you're disconnected from everyone?
I don't think so.
Monday, 21 March 2011
New Life Begin
Hey what's up blogger's..been ages I'm not here,don't be upset,i just finish moving to new house,busy plenty time with those cleaning and doing some decoration,plus ahakss..!!!wifi not install here yet as they said have to postpone forth April,damn it SKY people..huh..!!!( Muka tgh marah.)
I still thinking doing some more decoration as painting and putting some of my favourite photos on the wall..don't know whether its just making messy or making more perfect view in here,but i fancy all those kind of decoration..
Not long since first day i move to cleaning my new house. Its all very exciting. Right now i just want to stay here of this house. Start my new life..i love my life now..
This is my new kitchen area,i make it black for sofa and dining table,and mix with some decoration with red pillow and red plate cover on the table..and can u see that plant in that kitchen..??i think that's owesome..!!i like that colour,making me feel like I'm in my own house in K.L..i miss my house in there...
Look..!!!that my living hall area witch is i putting some decoration like red pillow,orchid,acoustic guitar..and OOOpppss..yes as u see i putting vegetable on that basket,i love my vegetable..
Vegetable micture with full of colours..
And look,more decoration with some of my magazine,small lighting and kangaroo from Perth Australia..
This is my favourite place,i don't mind if i have to stay in here all day long,my suite bathroom..as usual i putting some decoration in there such orchid,small towel to face wiping,theme blue and white...i love my bathroom..!!
What..??bedroom..?owhh no,my bedroom is to privacy to show here,or let me think if i change my mind,and pray for that if u want to see my lovely bedroom..ahakss,..!!!
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Tsunami JEPUN Di sebalik ALQURAN
Salam blogger's.
( ni kali keberapa eyh saya bg salam kat dalam blog saya neh..??adehh..!!)
takper2..just nak share dgn korang apa yg kawan saya share dalam fb baru2 nie..
( ni kali keberapa eyh saya bg salam kat dalam blog saya neh..??adehh..!!)
takper2..just nak share dgn korang apa yg kawan saya share dalam fb baru2 nie..
1. Tarikh yg berlaku adalah pada 11/3/2011 bersamaan 6 RabiulAkhir 1432 Hijah or 6/4/1432.
2. so dengan tahun 1432 di pecahkan 14 || 32.
3. Jawapanya Jujuz ke 14 Quran.
4. Dan bulan 4.
Rahsia angka tahun ini : Jujuz 14 Ayat Quran ke 4.
Rujuk di Quran.
1. Jujuz 14 bermula pada surah Al-Hijr, dan ayat ke 4 dari surah AL Hijir menyatakan
"Dan kami tidak membinasakan suatu negeri, melainkan sudah ada ketentuan yang tetap baginya".
2. Rahsia seterusnya yang menunjukan Malapetaka ini akan berlaku di Jepun ialah dengan kedudukan Jepun dan Wilayah Seedai pada kedudukan geografi bg ( Jepun : Latitiude 36, Longtitude 138)
so dlm 1432, 14 dh di ketahui Jujuz Al Quran. maka yang di pecahkan 14 || 32 so di pecahkan lagi 3|2 ,so now secret no adalah 3.
di ambil pula lokasi latititude dan longitude.
3+6+1+3+8 = 21
so next 2+1 = 3
proved *. yg di maksudkan dengan no 3 adalah negara jepun.
Dan di dalam jepun jugak terdapat banyak wilayah.. maka wilayah yang akan di turunkan malapetaka itu ? Wilayah Seedai pada kedudukan geografi Latitiude 38'15 dan Longtitude 140'53
makan 3+8+1+5+1+4+0+5+3 = 30
so next 3+0 = 3.
*proved wilayah yang tuhan maksudkan dgn angka 3 adalah Wilayah Seedai di Jepun.
3. Rahsia seterusnya dengan tarikh 6
msa yang di laporkan oleh Jabatan Metrologi Rusia.. gempa bumi berlaku pada masa 1446 waktu Jepun..
so 1+4+4+6 =15
so next 1+5 = 6
*proved 6 membawa maksud masa yang akan berlaku.
4. Dah yang seterusnya 1432 apabila di pecahkan 14||32, kini di ambil pula angka 14 dan di pecahkan 1||4 , maka angka satu boleh di kelaskan sebagai permulaan hari. maksudnya di dalam Islam Jumaat adalah hari pertama dalam minggu itu. so angka satu memberi maksud malapetaka itu akan berlaku pada hari Jumaat.
5. Lihat.. betapa benarnya ayat al quran. segala yang di nyatakan tetap berlaku. walaupun suduh berabad kitab Quran di turunkan.
6. Walaupun zaman berubah sejauh mana sekalipun.. Al-Quran tetap bagi sepanjang zaman.
7. Di percayai banyak lagi rahsia yang masih tidak dapat di ketahui di dalam tarikh ini. namun sekadar ini pun telah membuatkan kita lihat dengan mata kita sendiri betapa mulia Al-Quran. dan segala yang di ungkapkan di dalamnya
8. WauAllahhu Allam.
Di persilakan untuk share. bg mengingati kite kembali tentang segala perkara yang terkandung di dalam Al-Quran adalah benar buat selamanya. mahupun di dunia atau pun akhirat.
Monday, 14 March 2011
Feeling down… down… down…
PLEASE
GOD
HELP
ME!!
PLEASE!
I feel like I have been down in the gutters for the past few days and have not been able to figure out why. I had a great time waiting to move on with new apartment but i don't even knew why since then I have found it very hard to put a smile on my face…
I hate feeling like this. I know it affects my family and everyone else around me and I hate that. I know that I need to push through these crappy feelings and come out the other end stronger… but I also know that it’s not easy. It’s not like waking up the next day and everything feeling all better with puppies and rainbows. I know I am the only one who can make things better and I have the tools I need to accomplish my final goal
So… I will think happy thoughts and try to come up with a game plan to make things better.
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Ipad Oooooo Ipad
Huhhh..!!!ada saper2 nak sponsor IPAD2 kat saya tak..??OMG...!!!saya dalam kegersangan untuk mengumpul duit membeli satu lagi gadget kegemaran saya..( duit oh duit dimana engkau duit,..!!)
Haisshhh..!!gadget2 nie betul buat saya giler..lepas satu2 satu dia keluar,dah tu camna nak saving ni,taun depan dah 2nd year,adoiii..!!mak tolonglah anakmu ini..!!
P/S:kalau ada sesapa yang terbaca and nak dermakan 1 IPAD2 pada saya bley trus email pada saya yg tertera tuuuuu dekat profile tu eyh and mintak address utk pos oke..ahakkss..!!!(huh..!!ayat kencang minta derma ipad.)
oke la,saya tggu tau..!!!;-)
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Tsunami : Ujian Atau Bala
Salam ...
Today we are shocked by the news of our second day tsunami in Japan .. many lives already lost .. And we heard a tsunami that struck Southeast Asia will also .. the news presenter for the people of Malaysia are also advised not to panic with the news .. Possible tsunami because it is blocked by the Philippines .. meaning, the Philippines will receive a fragment of the wave .. However, the people of Malaysia especially in Sabah waters are advised to not go down to the sea .. Feared it would cause waves to well ..
Footage has emerged of Friday's tsunami sweeping through Kesennuma City in Miyagi Prefecture, north-eastern Japan.
The force of the wave washed away houses and cars in one of the worst hit areas after a devastating 8.9-magnitude earthquake hit off Japan's north-east coast on Friday.
The earthquake which rocked Japan triggered tsunami alerts across the entire Pacific basin, including Russia, Mexico, Hawaii and the entire western US coast.
The area is so volatile, it is often referred to as the "ring of fire".
Measuring 8.9, the earthquake was 8,000 times more powerful than the one that devastated Christchurch in New Zealand in February.
A massive earthquake has hit the north-east of Japan triggering a tsunami that has caused extensive damage.
Japan's TV showed cars, ships and even buildings being swept away in the Fukushima prefecture, after the 8.9 magnitude earthquake.
Officials said a wave as high as 6m (20ft) could strike the coast.
The quake struck about 250 miles (400km) from Tokyo at a depth of 20 miles, shaking buildings in the capital for several minutes.
The tsunami, which hit Japan on Friday, has destroyed many towns including Ofunato, Iwate Prefecture, in the north-east of the country.
Pictures show a car perched on top of a house and buildings washed away or collapsed after the wall of water struck.
Troops are now on hand to assist in the search and rescue operations.
Damian Grammaticas reports on the destruction wrought by the tsunami in Sendai
hopefully may god bless us and people in japan..ALLAHUAKBAR..!!!ALLAHUAKBAR..!!!
Friday, 11 March 2011
Packing Up My Belongings
Again story about move in to new house...
I am getting closer to getting everything packed and ready to move into the new house.I suppose to get key last week but probably as soon as possible they give me a key and will close on the house and then start moving in. I can’t wait it will be very awesome. It is another chapter in my life. You move out of with old house then to an apartment.
Like I said before I didn’t know how much it would really cost, but like before i need a lot of extra cash on hand for all of the little deposits that i need to put down. I had an extra cost of the house ..but this i feel this is not a right time to move with my healthy condition like this,i hate being poorly..well what to do,life is life isn't it?I will take more pictures of everything once I get moved in and settled.
So this weekend was a bit hectic, but I'm finally settled into my new apartment. Well, it's not entirely new - I had to move out for the summer and just got all my stuff back where it was a few months ago, but with some slight improvements.
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Randomness
What's up Bloggers..
I am making this post for I am not sure what reason as I don't feel anyone will be able to help much right now.
I think I have had to much time on my hands to think lately. But all of a sudden I feel really lonely and thinking of all the people in my life and which ones truely care and would stick by me through everything I don't think there are any. maybe have a few friend that really care,but where they are..?
So much has happened now and it feels like theres a dead end and there is no point in carrying on. It seems like for a long time now things have got progressively worse and they are going to keep doing so until they have completly beaten me down.
There has usually been some part of me which just wants to smile despite everything and that fears and wants things to go back to how they were, but even this tiny flicker of hope in me is dissapearing and I don't even care anymore. And that frightens me a little which is a good thing I guess because it means I must still have some hope left.
welcome to fall..
Achieved towels, toothpaste and put it to accomplish to the toothbrush and brush my teeth .. .. .. lalalalalala (cewahh, siap nyanyi2 lak tu) .. is ready ..!!! bath, lalalallalal...,soap, falling thud KELEPEK ..!!! ..! uwaaaa ... WTF ..! ambik kau, tu la tegedik2 masa shower on bath..kan dah dapat sakit..!!!
Hope that my bone takde la crack ke apa,just have a bit cut pada tgh2 bum tu..sakit dow..!!!cuak jugak masa jatuh tu,tapi nasib baik patt ada,dia tolong tuamkan sbb dah bengkak sangat..just imagine la,kepala paip yg besi tu boleh patah,kuat giler saya rasa jatuh masa tu..nak nangis cam lawak,tp nk gelak sakit..ahakss..!!bangang punya budak..!!!
arinie & semalam lansung tak boleh nak buat apa sebab not really comfy to sat or lay down on bed,very painful ..
Monday, 7 March 2011
Letter for u dad
Dear dad,
i hope you are doing well.
i apologize for the length of my silence
but, i was lost in our wood's relentless
dense sense where a tree fell.
and, being the only lonely soul
to hear the desperate sound,
i felt it only proper that i hang around
to cover the stumps bare hole.
So dad,
i feel the whispers in the hall
reach inside the mist of my consciousness
like a cool breeze to the native inhabitants
standing near a cascading waterfall
and, being the only lonely soul
inventorying the essential contents
i felt it only proper to become a dissident
deciding what may be sold.
Then dad,
no grievance can i hold
no claim to pain and its rightful heir
there is no home in a room full of despair.
only webs to filter passing souls
and, being the only lonely soul
i offer a candle and a dove
and feel it only proper to create light and love
no grievance should i or could i or would i hold
Dear Dad,
I wish you well, and pray you never be the only lonely soul and i want you to know how much i love you dad
My own move this week
( Tutup Muka Malu ) Ahaksss...!!! baru btau nk biar besawang sket,dah tegedik2 nk update blog,ahakss..!!kau mmg takley idup la takde blog kan..??pirahhh..!!
Well just nak share story psl packing brg2 nk pindah..mak kau ingatkan sket..!!baju jerk dah belambak,tak paham mana datang tah..!!adoiii yaii..!!!( sambil purak2 garu kapla.) ahaksss..
Well just nak share story psl packing brg2 nk pindah..mak kau ingatkan sket..!!baju jerk dah belambak,tak paham mana datang tah..!!adoiii yaii..!!!( sambil purak2 garu kapla.) ahaksss..
Tengok2..??ni kat luar jer tak tgk lagi dalam bilik..masyaallah..!!
tengok..!!!tengok..!!dalam bilik pun selambak..!!tu tak abis kemas lagi tu..adoiii..
i hate folding clothes & packing this bloody small staff
As most of you know I have decided to move yet again but this time it's back in with same person..yeah..Patt.!!!I am excited for the move but I have come to one conclusion. PACKING IS THE WORST! The one good thing about moving though is that you get to purge alot of stuff if not just for the fact that you don't want to pack it and haul it all with you. I think I have listed more stuff on Craigslist than ever before!
Another bad thing, especially for those of you who know me well, is the disorganization it causes and the stress that goes along with that. I am the type of person that has everything in its place. I hate things just laying around and cluttering up good space. Therefor my place right now is stressing me out! I just started really packing today and here's what it looks like thus far.
Most of you are probably thinking to yourselves, well that's not so bad, but for me it is! I move wekeend and had to start packing today because for the next 3 days I work and cannot pack so the disarray began early. Too early in my opinion because now I have to set eyes on the hazard that is my living room for the next 5 days.
Don't even get me started on the bedroom.......
DAMN BLOODY TIRED..
Saturday, 5 March 2011
P.E.N.G.U.M.U.M.A.N
okay hari ini tanggal 5 March 2011 saya dengan rasa yg tak dapat diungkapkan dengan kata-kata mengisyhtiharkan bahawasanya BLOG INI AKAN DIBIARKAN BERSAWANG sehingga satu masa yang akan ditentukan kemudian. kerana buat masa sekarang tuan blog adalah sangat sibuk sehingga tidak dapat memberi sepenuh komitmen pada blog yg dibina atas dasar suka sama suka. eh?
hahah, bukanlah.
*sambung balik*
hal ini adalah kerana tuan blog sedang sibuk menguruskan sebab nak berpindah ke rumah baru minggu depan
ha amacam busy kan? kan?
okay lah, tak nak tulis panjang2. masa saya terlalu berharga untuk dibazirkan sekarang. hahah. see you all next time! wish me the best okay :)
Tapi kalau ter update gak blog ni,hehhehhe,,,,paham2 jer la eyh..!!ahaksss..
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