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Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Since you found my blog,this is for u Baby..xxx


Since you found my blog,this is for u Baby..i want you to know you always in my mind,and i love you with all my heart..

Since you came into my life I have often wondered if you were sent to me from God. Do you remember the first time we met? I do...The way both of us expressed ourself caught us off guard. I could not do anything.. Most men are rude when they approach a woman. But not you, you were quite the gentleman.

I knew you would break my shell after our first date. Before you came along, I had been hiding in the shadows of live for too long. You prove my first impression right each day we are together. You were right when you said there are good people in the world. You are a great person - an influential individual and compassionate friend and lover..i do love you baby..

baby do you still remember that you have told me this would be my reality. You said you were going to be my sounding board and the person I can turn to and confide in. As the minutes, hours, days and now months continue  I feel closer to you. It has been years since I have felt this way towards someone. I want to tell my secrets to you because I know you will keep them safe just as you have kept me safe from this crazy world.

You make me laugh when I can not find anything to smile about. You make sure we share every minute together laughing and talking about our plans in life. Most men run if a woman starts talking about the future. Not you. You make sure we discuss our goals for our relationship as well as our independent plans for ourselves. Thank you for being you. You have exposed me the finer things in life that were right before my eyes.


I promise to love and cherish all the days we have together.
I promise to hold you when you need to be held.
And at any chance i can get.
I promise to keep my nagging to a minimum,
So that i don't turn into your "strict wife".
I promise to never take for granted what i have...
That means you, of course!
I promise to occasionally watch and seem interested
while you play your  video games.
And since we dont have totally the same tastes in music,
I promise to not play my "nonsense" when you're around.
(Well maybe not promise, but i'll try)
I promise to keep each of our "roles" equal.
We both play and equal part in our lives.
Baby, you are my life, my heart, and my soul.
my life would be nothing without you.
you complete me in so many ways.
and i am so glad that we are together.
i absolutely cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
you are all that i have ever wanted in a man.
and so much more!
thank you for everything you have ever done for me
and will ever do for me..!!
I love you! forever and always..!!

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

My Silence Enemy 'Ovarian Cancer'

Two week after surgery,in my second surgery on 13 of July before my birthday I started the standard first-line therapy of Radiotherapy. Will anything cure ovarian cancer? I don't know and neither do the doctors. The doctors give it their best shot and work so hard and many times have a lot of success, or is it just luck? Faith in God and faith in my doctors will get me through. That and a lot of help from my friends.

I will continue to fight for my life. I owe it to myself and my family. I will survive. I will beat this. Cancer will never win!

When I was first told that I had cancer, I thought it was the worst thing in the world I could ever hear. I thought I would be dying soon, I would not get to grow old with someone that i love or accomplish all I had planned. There are some days that I still feel that way, but not as often. Slowly I was given hope that I could beat this thing and survive. My life would forever change, but I had a purpose and a reason to fight. The fact that ovarian cancer tends to reccur so often, is scary. I am living with that fear now as my tumor count rises. I have so much love and support that I know I will get through this. I'm not saying that I don't get down and I do indulge in an occasional pity party, and I do cry, okay sometimes I sob! What really wears me down is fear and worry. I am learning to manage the fear. I have such a great medical team helping me fight this and that helps the worry. The more I learn, the better I feel. Not because what I am learning is especially good news, but for me, I cope better knowing as much as possible. That wasn't always the case. When I was first diagnosed and had surgery, I didn't want to know much. I had to be told in small bits and pieces what was happening to me or I couldn't cope. After I regained some strength, I felt I had to know it all. But what I want to tell you is the good that has come from having cancer.
I had heard people say that they would not change having cancer because of all they have learned from it. At first I though, "you've got to be kidding! I would give this all up in a heart beat." I must admit on my low days I still feel that way. And then I think about how I have changed and I am glad I was given this opportunity to see the world in a different light. It may sound like a cliche, but I do see the beauty in each day, people are even more important than before and I am truely glad to wake up each day. I am a much nicer person now, of course that is with my daily dose of antidepressant! (That's my secret weapon.) I am more patient now, maybe from waiting in waiting rooms forver, nothing is as urgent as it was before. I am much kinder to myself now. I even treated myself to my first pedicure last week and didn't even feel guilty about it.
Thank u for those people who giving me support,it's really mean to me..i love u all guy's in no matter what happen till i my last breath..i will upload a few piccies of mine when i had the surgery last 2 week ago,hope to see u guy's soon..





I hope everything will be ok soon as i'm tired to get treatment no more..yes i should be grateful because me i still live in this beautiful world but sometimes i just down..forget it,i dont want think it no more..see u soon guy's..xxx

Thursday, 30 June 2011

Declaration


Being apart from u doesn't change the way I feel about you in my heart. Sure I'm lonely, and sometimes I'm overwhelmed with this emptiness in my chest. But baby, I love you, in love with, and everything.That's what gets me through every minute that I'm with out you. And baby, you don't know what I would give to kiss your lips, feel your touch, or even just to see you.I don't care if you forget our first kiss, our first date, just as long as you remember that I love you with every aching bone in my body no matter what..


Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe this would ever happen. I never expected to fall so deeply in love so fast.I remember we talked on the phone that night before our first date, about anything and everything. When you asked me to go out for dinner before i came back here to MYR ( Malaysia ) but again my heart spoke for me. I decided to take a chance and see what would happen, but I never expected that we would say we loved each other before meeting. Now don't get me wrong I believe in love at first sight, but I thought I would be the last person to be bitten by that bug. When you said to me, "I love you," it gave me a little tingle in the pit of my stomach. Something I had never felt before.

When we saw each other the night before my flight for the first time I knew you were real and not a dream that I had hoped to come true. The time we spent together in Lowry Mall and your place it so amazing and its make me so crazy about u..it  was magical and so romantic that I never wanted it to end.  Even though we live apart right now, I have faith that in due time this will all come to an end and we will be together forever. I love you more than words could ever show and I know you love me too. Like the saying goes, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Well, my heart has always and will continue to be quite fond of you. I love you more today than yesterday and I will love you more tomorrow than I did today! 

The miracle of life shone in front of my eyes when you entered my life. Nothing can be compared to this feeling of filling up somebody's life. the sweet texting/calls that keep me awake even when I'm exhausted to death, because I wouldn't miss a thing. The feeling that you know every corner of my heart. All these things are the most beautiful signs of my love for you. wondering how this could happen to us! Well, I want to thank you for being my best friend,my love,my baby and everything for being my soul, for being my life! And I want you to know,i just want u in my life now and forever.I have never felt like this before. Nobody has taken me so far after i broke up, except you, my prince from the clouds. You brighten my days and give me the strength to carry on, fighting everyday for you. You revealed the deepest emotions and feelings I've kept inside of me for so long. Feelings I didn't even suspect to be. But most of all, you showed me the real taste of love. You are my best friend and the one I want for life, my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow. You are the one I love and I want everybody to know it! I love you more than anything.I haven't had a stronger feeling than this one I have now, that I want face the eternity with you by my side… I want to wake up with you. I Want To Wake Up With You I wanna wake up with you I wanna be there when you open your eyes I want you to be The first thing that I see I wanna wake up with you I wanna lay by your side, Baby I wanna feel every beat of your heart And throughout the night I wanna hold you tight I wanna wake up with you All the love inside me has been sleeping Waiting till the right one came along You can share the love that I've been keeping

You really know how much I love you and care for you but there is nothing I can do more. Even though we're apart, this will not be the end of our commitment. You are the best thing that ever happened in my whole, entire, damn life. Just always remember that I really treasure your love and cares for me. I really love you so. 

U know what baby,From the day we met, I knew that you would hold my heart in your hands and you more than do that - you completely own me and every part of me. When I think of you, my heart is so full of love and passion for you that I can hardly contain myself. I think of spending every minute of every day with you and holding you so close to me. Whenever you think of me, please know that no matter how many miles separate us or how much of our lives comes between us, you are and always will be the love of my life and I will never love anyone as much again. I thank God everyday for letting me meet you and for you falling in love with me because I know that it would never be as perfect any other way. I love you with all that I am. 

this is the declaration of love to u baby,and i want u to know i really mean it..i don't want to lose u baby..This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper than any ocean or sea; I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. If only you could hold me, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie!

So, if what you feel for me is real and what you say is true, then with all my heart do I trust thee. If you want me as your love as much as I want you as my love then so be it. I give you this heart of mine and ask nothing less or nothing more but just that you don't go breaking my heart. My love and trust is all I have to give to you, sealed with honesty throughout and as time goes by, may it grow stronger to fulfill your heart's desire.

If it pleases you, call me your lover from this day forth and you're mine. For your love am I and your best friend too. As our body, mind and soul combine, so do our hearts become one.Hear this, my declaration of love, from me to you. I love you, with all my heart and I will never stop loving you. You are my life, you are my everything. Though distance may keep us apart, you will always be embedded deep within my heart. 

Best Friend Forever


Forever Friends
Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.
When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
Your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

GirlYou're...
My Friend,
my companion,
through good times and bad
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
throughout the years

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Depression

Hi again blogger's..!!

Here to share something about depression..i have friend of mine which is she have very bad depression and i don't even have any idea how she get that from the symptom,well i know its silly to wrote this about her in here but i feel sorry for her to have this in her life which is i know it's hurt her sometimes..But in logically thinking about the symptom,i believe there have lot's of therapy out there and she have to fight with the symptom as well,yes i know it's easy for me to say this,but i wrote in here based on my experience..there don't have anyone can help u apart from yourself..if u choose to be that way,that what u get..this is the reason why i said before,dealing with depression by your own and that the only way u can do but if u choose that way no one can help u..Ok i will stop here in a minute while i'll try to find solution how to help her out from her sicknesses depression..


I believe depression may be thought of a secondary emotion. This means that there are other feelings which contribute to and cause it.For example, she might feel alone, lonely, rejected, discouraged, loss, grief, unfulfilled, disconnected, uninspired, invalidated, used, abused, unproductive, unaccomplished, uncertain, misunderstood, pessimistic, powerless, etc. Together, all of these feelings drain her energy, kill her motivation.When depressed, or preferably before, it helps to isolate each specific feeling which contributes to the over-all loss of motivation and energy. When the specific feelings are identified, she have more information with which to work. From this information she will be better prepared to take action or least think about a plan to address each specific negative feeling individually. With each specific negative feeling, ask herself, "What would help me feel less (lonely, unproductive, discouraged)"


Here are some questions adults might ask themselves which might help her if she are trying to understand her own depression: (These don't apply as well to teenagers living with their parents)
  • Have I lost something? A belief? A dream, a relationship? A vision? Is there some disillusionment? Some unmet expectation? Unfulfilled desire?
  • Am I feeling productive? Am I accomplishing anything?
  • Do I feel focussed? Do I have any goals I am working towards?
  • Am I feeling pessimistic about something? About several things? Am I feeling discouraged about something? Hopeless?
  • What beliefs are helping me feel pessimistic, discouraged, hopeless?
  • Am I looking for something on the outside to happen before I will feel better?
  • Am I feeling dependent on someone?
  • Do I feel resentful about something? About someone?
  • Am I feeling disconnected from my emotional support system? Do I have an emotional support system?
Then ask yourself:
  • What would help me feel more optimistic? More encouraged?
  • What beliefs can I change?
  • What can I find to appreciate? To be thankful for?
  • What would help me feel more connected to others, or less dependent on them?
  • What could I do to strengthen my emotional support system?
  • What small goal could I achieve right now that I am sure I can do?
Taking your feelings one by one helps you feel less overwhelmed. And it helps you identify you emotional need. When you feel better in just one area, it helps you feel more capable of handling the other negative feelings.

As i said me and few friend try hard to helping her out from old life,and build a new one which is she can manage a new relationship with someone really love her,but the thing is she wouldn't take a risk to get new relationship..well just helping but it's doesn't work out at all..really hope she will be ok soon but i'm still thinking how to help her as i love her to much..

I have a few tips for her anyway how to dealing depression by her own self..here we go..


Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. But while overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far from impossible. You can’t beat it through sheer willpower, but you do have some control—even if your depression is severe and stubbornly persistent.

You can make a huge dent in your depression with simple lifestyle changes: exercising every day, avoiding the urge to isolate, challenging the negative voices in your head, eating healthy food instead of the junk you crave, and carving out time for rest and relaxation. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day and draw on the support of others.

The road to depression recovery

Recovering from depression requires action. But taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like going for a walk or spending time with friends, can be exhausting.
It’s the Catch-22 of depression recovery. The things that help the most are the things that are most difficult to do. But there’s a difference between difficult and impossible.

Start small and stay focused

The key to depression recovery is to start with a few small goals and slowly build from there. Draw upon whatever resources you have. You may not have much energy, but you probably have enough to take a short walk around the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one.
Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they’ll quickly add up. And for all the energy you put in to your depression recovery, you’ll get back much more in return.

Depression self-help tip 1: Cultivate supportive relationships

Getting the support you need plays a big role in lifting the fog of depression and keeping it away. On your own, it can be difficult to maintain perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression. But the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help. However, isolation and loneliness make depression even worse, so maintaining your close relationships and social activities are important.
The thought of reaching out to even close family members and friends can seem overwhelming. You may feel ashamed, too exhausted to talk, or guilty for neglecting the relationship. Remind yourself that this is the depression talking. You loved ones care about you and want to help.
  • Turn to trusted friends and family members
  •  Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. Ask for the help and support you need. You may have retreated from your most treasured relationships, but they can get you through this tough time.

  • Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. 
  • When you’re depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell. But being around other people will make you feel less depressed.

  • Join a support group for depression.

  • Being with others who are dealing with depression can go a long way in reducing your sense of isolation. You can also encourage each other, give and receive advice on how to cope, and share your experiences. To locate a depression support group in your area, use the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance's Support Group Locator.

10 tips for reaching out and building relationships

  1. Talk to one person about your feelings.
  2. Help someone else by volunteering.
  3. Have lunch or coffee with a friend.
  4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly.
  5. Accompany someone to the movies, a concert, or a small get-together.
  1. Call or email an old friend.
  2. Go for a walk with a workout buddy.
  3. Schedule a weekly dinner date.
  4. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club.
  5. Confide in a counselor, therapist, or clergy member.

Depression self-help tip 2: Take care of yourself

In order to overcome depression, you have to nurture yourself. This includes making time for things you enjoy, asking for help from others, setting limits on what you’re able to do, adopting healthy habits, and scheduling fun activities into your day.

Do things you enjoy (or used to)

While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can choose to do things that you used to enjoy. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art, or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to a museum, the mountains, or the ballpark.

Develop a wellness toolbox

Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. Include any strategies, activities, or skills that have helped in the past. The more “tools” for coping with depression, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each day, even if you’re feeling good.
  1. Spend some time in nature.
  2. List what you like about yourself.
  3. Read a good book.
  4. Watch a funny movie or TV show.
  5. Take a long, hot bath.
  1. Listen to music.
  2. Take care of a few small tasks.
  3. Play with a pet.
  4. Write in your journal.
  5. Do something spontaneous.
Push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel once you’re out in the world. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.

Adopt healthy lifestyle habits

  • Aim for 8 hours of sleep.

  •  Depression typically involves sleep problems. Whether you’re sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers. Get on a better sleep schedule by learning healthy sleep habits
  •  
  • Expose yourself to a little sunlight every day
    Expose yourself to a little sunlight every day. 

    Lack of sunlight can make depression worse. Make sure you’re getting enough. Take a short walk outdoors, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal, people-watch on a park bench, or sit out in the garden.
      
  • Practice relaxation techniques.
  •  A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.

Fight depression by managing stress

Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can also trigger it. In order to get over depression and stay well, it’s essential to learn how to minimize and cope with stress.
  • Identify your stressors.
  •  Figure out all the things in your life that are stressing you out. Examples include: work overload, unsupportive relationships, substance abuse, taking on too much, or health problems. Once you’ve identified your stressors, you can make a plan to avoid them or minimize their impact.

  • Go easy on yourself.
  •  Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self-imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking.
  • Plan ahead.
  •  If you know your stress triggers and limits, you will be able to identify and avoid many landmines. If you sense trouble ahead, protect yourself by dipping into your wellness toolbox and saying “no” to added responsibility.

Depression self-help tip 3: Get regular exercise

Get regular exercise
When you’re depressed, exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing. But exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. In fact, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue.

Scientists haven’t figured out exactly why exercise is such a potent antidepressant, but evidence suggests that physical activity increases mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain, raises endorphins, reduces stress, and relieves muscle tension – all things that can have a positive effect on depression.
To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. But you can start small. Short 10-minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on your mood. Here are a few easy ways to get moving:
  • Take the stairs rather than the elevator
  • Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot
  • Take your dog for a walk
  • Pair up with an exercise partner
  • Walk while you’re talking on the phone
As a next step, try incorporating walks or some other enjoyable, easy form of exercise into your daily routine. The key is to pick an activity you enjoy, so you’re more likely to keep up with it.

Exercise as an Antidepressant

The following exercise tips offer a powerful prescription for boosting mood:
  • Exercise now…and again.  A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two hours.  The key to sustaining mood benefits is to exercise regularly.
  • Choose activities that are moderately intense. Aerobic exercise undoubtedly has mental health benefits, but you don't need to sweat strenuously to see results.
  • Find exercises that are continuous and rhythmic (rather than intermittent). Walking, swimming, dancing, stationery biking, and yoga are good choices.
  • Add a mind-body element. Activities such as yoga and tai chi rest your mind and pump up your energy. You can also add a meditative element to walking or swimming by repeating a mantra (a word or phrase) as you move.
  • Start slowly, and don't overdo it. More isn't better. Athletes who over train find their moods drop rather than lift.
Or maybe at lease she can reduce depression..here the tips and really hoping its useful for her..


1. Do not read newspapers.
Newspapers publish negative stories most of the time. Even in peaceful periods, newspapers will find the worst in humanity and place negative stories on display in order to promote sales and subscribers. Stories focused on War, rebellion, death, destruction, doom and despair abound in the newspapers.
You will not miss any news. Friends, family, and your local air raid siren will keep you informed if your attention is needed. Only pay attention to the things you can control in your life.
Stop reading the newspaper and reduce the negative input to your brain.
2. Turn off your television.
Watching and listening about the horrible economy and the losses associated with War will add to depression. In fact, you guarantee the feeling of helplessness. Helplessness allows depression to nurture. If you really need to watch or listen to these kinds of news stories, promise yourself you will bury yourself in the documentaries that are sure to follow in the next 5 or 10 years. A way you can eliminate most of the negative input to your brain is by setting it aside for a date somewhere in the future. I guarantee in the future, you will not find it very interesting.
When visitors come to your home, make sure you turn off your television and keep it off. News television broadcasters are fighting for your guests' attention as they promote despair, war, death, and destruction with many headline news interruptions. Those little banners that run across the bottom of the screen achieve your attention and they take hold of your consciousness. Television will diminish your positive spirit.
3. Say good things about others
My Mother always says, "if you can't say anything nice about others, don't say anything at all." However, when you find yourself in a conversation and a relative says, "Remember Uncle Phil?" " He was an alcoholic" Respond with " yes, Uncle Phil was an alcoholic and he was the most charitable person, I have ever met."
Connect your friend's negative statement about Phil with a positive one. Set yourself up to find the positive in anyone's statement and you will keep negative thoughts and depression from overtaking your life.
Og Mandino, a great motivator once said, "treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight." "Your life will never be the same again."
4. Get physical exercise
Adults forget about exercise when suffering from depression. Make sure you are exercising daily and sending more oxygen to your brain cells. The result of exercise will improve your health as well as your attitude.
5. Breathe deep and relax.
Practice the following breathing exercise to relax your body and mind.
Breathe deeply and relax. For 2 or 3 minutes each hour, take a short mental vacation.
You can engage in this exercise while you are standing in the checkout line at the supermarket or when listening to others while talking on a telephone. You can complete the exercise at home or at work.
Take three deep breathes and relax. As you inhale, concentrate on calm and peaceful thoughts. You may think about relaxing by a mountain, by the ocean or comfortably in your favorite room at home.
As you exhale, concentrate on pushing any tension out of your lungs.
Focus on positive images in your life. Focus on laughter, love, excitement, and hope.
Keep breathing in and out in this pattern until you feel better. If you practice the exercise often, you will notice wonderful changes in your outlook and in other aspects of your life.
Reduce your depression now! Enjoy your family, your friends, and your life.
--Wayne F. Perkins





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